Sometimes when we are getting the support we need we assume we can just sit back and let the person supporting us do all the work, favors and open all the doors while we relax and bask in the glory of having them as our mentor/coach. That is not the role of your mentor/coach.
This misunderstanding of what a mentor/coach can and should do for you can cause the relationship between mentor/coach and protégé to be strained. Both coach and protégé need to understand both their and each other’s’ roles well so that the relationship is guided by these boundaries. Your role as a good protégé starts before, continues during and even after the coaching period. Below is a list of some features of a good protégé.
Decide what you need in your mentor /coach: Before deciding on who their mentor/coach should be a good protégé looks out for someone who can bring out the best in them not one who can give them the next promotion. Understand if the person can bring out the best in you, your territory will not be limited by the doors they can open but the doors you can open. Well, coached protégés often are able to perform much better than their coaches and having a dependent mindset will limit you to what they achieved.
Choose from a wide pool of people: A good protégé will choose their mentor/coach from a wide profile of people. Our success so far is tied to the person we are and have grown to be – but so have our limitations. Sometimes a person with a different outlook, character trait; someone who is not exactly like us may bring out the best in us than a similar person would. However do not compromise on values. A good protégé is mature enough to weed out what is important for their growth independent of who their coach is.
Having clear goals, objectives and expectations of the mentoring relationship is important. Going to a mentor as a blank slate expecting them to produce a clone of themselves in you is wishful thinking and not the purpose of a good relationship. Communicate these as clearly as you possibly can, your mentor/coach will help you crystallize your overall objectives if you are limited.
Be ready to act: Your mentor/coach will expect that you will learn and put into action what is learnt and advised. Unless you have a very good reason or your gut feeling gives the insight to take or not to take an action agreed, be ready to act. A mentor relationship is very different from a teacher-student relationship where head knowledge is taught. Mentorship is about practical knowledge and action. A very frustrated mentor is one who feels they are not contributing much to your growth as you are not motivated enough to apply knowledge gained.
Communicate: Good communication is two-way. While you can be a sponge and absorb what you are taught, it is important to give feedback. Share thoughts especially when you do not follow through or face difficulties. Minds do not meet without communication. Remember your mentor has experience that you do not have and when you give feedback they are able to reflect on their experiences and give support where required. If you are unhappy with a mentoring relationship communicate this early so that any necessary adjustments may be made. Don’t waste your and the mentors time
Be professional in your relationship; punctual, respectful, honest and meet deadlines and targets. Being sloppy and inefficient is not very encouraging and a mentor normally has limited time. In fact, since a mentoring relationship is time bound and sloppiness works to your disadvantage.
Be Positive and motivated. The easiest way to not benefit from the mentoring relationship is being negative and discouraged all the time. No one wants to be working with such a person. When negative you may not really hear even when you are given solutions to problems you face as your mind is blocked. Consider challenges as an adventure that you are going through and you will get insight to work through it with your mentor.
Have you been a mentor? What else do you think is crucial for a good protégé to have for them to benefit from a mentoring relationship?
