Yea, that happened! The title of the Twitter Space session was ‘What Do You Bring To The Table & What Do You Expect’, meaning what you brought to a love relationship. I attended the Space yesterday and am still horrified by the hosts’ attitude. That has led me to write again; I was horrified and worried about the adverse effects of such hosting.
It is not a hidden fact that mental wellness is increasingly a subject that is important in most communities. Whether we look at the developed world or our African communities, suicide, especially among men in midlife and male youth, has increased. And there are various reasons for poor mental health, but the most recurring amongst cases is stress, lack of emotional support and money. I believe yesterday I saw an example of how insensitive men can be, especially towards each other.
Simply put, the hosts were downright rude, especially towards men who felt what was important to them in a relationship was in any way emotional support, honesty or the need to be appreciated and encouraged in one way or another. The hosts called them weak, undeserving of having fulfilling marriages (even when the speaker was in a happy relationship) or bull shitting … the proper answer for them is the man should want to be a provider and have a woman as a child bearer. The language used was gross … “I want your womb” like the lady was an animal to produce a litter.
Aren’t men entitled to want something more than children from a relationship, and aren’t women allowed to want more in a man than provision? The world is changing so fast, and in the past – long ago, the ideal in society for a successful man was primarily farmland and a ‘boma’ full of women and children to cultivate the land. Today the mark of a successful man is as varied as the different stages of human development, the diverse communities we belong to, our religious beliefs, our financial position and after all that, our unique experiences. Even two people of the same gender from the same family will want very different things in a relationship.
That said, back to the hosts’ attitude, both men, towards fellow men. I would tell other than trying to bully everyone into submitting to their perspective, let alone the offensive manner it was done, it would be great to be sensitive to what is happening in society. If you have a forum, why insult the very people who make it possible for you to have it? Why would middle age and above men attack other men, especially in light of the world’s current situation?
The world has woken up to the need to have better and more meaningful relationships at home, especially in the light of Corona. Relationships help support us emotionally and reduce the number of suicides. There is enough killing of men’s dreams and hope, and using our platforms to stomp on others because we hold the microphone is very insensitive to our audience. I am sad that mature middle-aged men would publicly display such behaviour. As with attacks made on the lady who committed suicide in Kilimani Mums, I think hosts of such Twitter Spaces should be held responsible if at any point people are hurt directly or indirectly as a result of their public bulling.
You may say the host could be acting due to the type of audience. However, this is irrelevant. When you put yourself out there as a leader, and unless you specifically show that the session you are running is purely for entertainment purposes and visibly displayed during the session, you should understand people come to such sessions for support and understanding. Many are sensitive, and like it or not; you are responsible for ensuring you do adequate research, understand views held before the session and run it without getting emotional and attacking your audience.
In light of this, should responsible journalism be a requirement of anyone who hosts a session in Spaces???
